When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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