Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm both gender and math confused
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
