well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's blow job season.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
