I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
