we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
