Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
