Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize