do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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