I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You need a sexual gate keeper
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
