Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
