walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
