Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he thought i was a dude.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
