is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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