R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
