well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
