Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
