Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
