One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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