mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
