ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
