HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Terrible idea I love it
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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