i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
