dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
