I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
