I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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