ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
