I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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