I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
