I wish I could punch you in the face.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
