he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
As shirtless as possible
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
