so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
