You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
