discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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