I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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