he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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