I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
