yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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