You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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