While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
