Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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