You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
