her vagine was all disorganized.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
