just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
