There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
