I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
