Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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