We won't sleep together?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
