No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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