Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
