what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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