Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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